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Joke of the Day

"*smels vinyl record* The Continents r ok but they wer way beter befor they split up. do u kno the supergroup Pangaea? its from befor ur time"

"What happened when the slave put his head into a lions mouth to count how many teeth he had ? The lion closed its mouth to see how many heads the slave had !"

"Did you know Princess Di had dandruff? Yeah, they found her head and shoulders in the dashboard."

"my date canceled today, now when someone asks ""How was your date?"" I can say I was too *hand*some."

"Creed is Alter Bridge with a stapp infection."

"Do you know why Jesus doesn't eat M&M's? Because they fall through the holes in his hands."

"I tried the come-hither sign with my fingers when I was inside a girl... But she moved her face away and said, ""Are you really a dentist?"""

"""do you answer the phone while having sex"" a woman asks her friend. The friend says ""only if its my husband calling me..he's my husband after all""."

"Wife: ""Take me to bed or lose me forever."" Husband: *Thinks about it for 45 minutes*"

"Did you hear about the stupid wizard? He couldn't remember if he used to be forgetful."