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Joke of the Day

"My grandpa has the heart of a lion. And a lifetime ban at the San Diego zoo."

"four years ago I asked out the woman of my dreams. Today I asked her to marry me!!! She said no both times."

"Guess which city got the best black Friday deals? Ferguson, it was a steal."

"My friend's kid just turned 7 and he's an amazing child and she loves him. To be blown away by more original content, please see Facebook"

"What did the tampon say to the other tampon? Nothing, they were both stuckup cunts"

"The package says ""Do not eat raw cookie dough"" but all I really see is ""Pillsbury hates you and doesn't want you to be happy."""

"""I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing 'Happy Birthday.'"""

"You were all Pluto's not even a planet and now you're watching it from your space car all slow and creepy like. Jerk."

"Why did George Washington leave office after his second term. He wanted to set a president."

"Five swedish men in a pool The swedes were swimming and suddenly a condom popped to the surface of the water. Directly one of the mans asks: ""who farted?"""