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Joke of the Day

"Do you know what the real letdown about John Glenns death is? It's the second time that Yuri Gagarin beat him to it."

"My neighbours really like Halloween They dress up as ghost every weekend and go out for lynch."

"[having sex] ME: oh yeah do you like that HER: faster! ME: *like an auctioneer* doyoulikethat-isee$5foryes-$5foryes-doisee$10-$10foryes"

"Tom Cruise was asked if he wanted to upgrade to Windows 10. Still awaiting his response..."

"The trouble with cops is if one's a douchebag you can't ask to speak to a manager."

"What did water say when ice farted? Ice melt it."

"What did the priest get at Toys R Us? An erection."

"Ma'am...we're going to have to ask you to get off of the table. Ma'am... (me, trying to cuddle with my bacon cheese fries)"

"What do rednecks do on Halloween? Pump kin hope its not a repost - its one of my old favs"