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Joke of the Day

"[After 20 min at your house] I used all your toilet paper ""Check in the cabine-"" All of it ""We have more in the gar-"" All of it all of it"

"When I meet someone new I shake their hand really fast and whisper ""yes, please don't stop"" because people need to learn not to talk to me."

"My therapist keeps saying that I should really stop talking to inanimate objects.....but he's a lamp...what does he know...."

"daniel radcliffe's family were just known as the cliffe's until his great grandfather invented the kick flip"

"I like my coffee like I like my women... No Penis"

"Why couldnt the bike stand on its own? Because it was two tired!"

"Donald Trump truly made history... Winning an argument against a woman."

"Why did the star go to the bathroom? Because it had to Twinkle."

"Parenting is great if you want to relive every moment from your childhood when your parents got mad at you - from your parents' perspective."

"What do Eric Clapton and Donald Trump have in common? They were both jealous of the size of a black man's crowd."