211969

Joke of the Day

"Food wedding anniversaries: Year 1: champagne 2: strawberries 3: chocolate 4: donuts 5: protein shakes 6: microwave meal 7: Rat poison"

"Some old lady at the bank asked me if I could help her check her balance. Turns out pushing the old bitch to the ground was a bad idea."

"*at Thanksgiving dinner* Me: One of you is eating poison green bean casserole. Everyone: *gasp* Me: Just kidding you all are."

"Its been almost ten years so I feel I can make this joke now. What did inhabitants of an island in South-East Thailand say when they saw a tsunami approaching? Oh, Phuket!"

"A scoliosis patient had given up hope of recovery.. But after the long and painful surgery, he took his first steps and humbly said ""I stand corrected""."

"What do tigers wear in bed ? Stripey pyjamas !"

"Camper: There's a leak over my bunk! Counselor: Shh! Don't make such a fuss. Soon everyone will want one."

"Since we are doing lightbulb jokes, here's one... Q: How many abstract artists does it to screw in a lightbulb? A: A fish!"

"I like my TVs like I like my women Curvy."

"What's the difference between hungry and horny? Where the cucumber goes."