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Joke of the Day
"Now I see why the Jamaica's flag is Green,yellow and black.. It's the color bananas go....."
Next Joke
"I just got an eyelash in my eye and I'm yelling at it cuz it's supposed to prevent this shit from happening like, ""YOU ONLY HAVE ONE JOB."""
"(Date) ""What's wrong?"" Oh nothing I'm just a nervous hummer ""Aw how cute!!"" *perfectly hums the entire Jurassic Park theme at full volume*"
"I put one slice of toast in my toaster and got two out... Must have been mitoastis"
"""Siri, do you have free will?"" ""I am programmed to say 'Yes'."""
"Who cleans up after Seeing Eye Dogs?"
"This party is boring. Let's make like a baby and head out."
"I got married to an antenna... The wedding was ok, but the reception was awesome!"
"The state of New Mexico.. When they named the state of New Mexico were they degrading the state or honoring Mexico? it seemed funnier when I first said it. is this how it always happens?"
"What do you call a sleep walking nun? A roamin' Catholic."