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Joke of the Day

"My Puerto Rican wife asked me how I liked my coffee ""The same way I like my women: light brown and bitter."""

"What did Helen Keller name her dog? akjnveoajknoea"

"Why did the blind man cross the road? Cuz he couldn't see it (Probly already posted but I've never seen it on r/jokes before)"

"How to dress like Lady Gaga: 1. Go to ikea. 2. Pick a object that doesn't belong on your head. 3. Put it on your head."

"Sir, your frog is illegally parked, move it imediately or it will be toad."

"Nice try, nine out of the ten days in a 10-day forecast."

"The difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb You can unscrew a lightbulb."

"Gonna teach a bunch of old white guys the word ""bae"" so teens stop thinking it's cool and it goes away forever."

"What's six inches long, two inches wide, and drives women wild? Money."

"It's been a week since my wife went missing. The police told me to expect the worst. So I took her things back out of the garbage bin."