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Joke of the Day

"A new BBC documentary accuses Hitler of millions of dollars worth of tax evasion. Man, the more I learn about this guy, the less I like him!"

"How do you know when there is an elephant under your bed ? When your nose touches the ceiling !"

"Anton, do you think I'm a bad mother? My name is Paul."

"Q: How many Virgos does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Virgos don't have time to change their own lightbulbs. They're too busy changing them for everyone else."

"How can you tell if someone is from New York? They always talk about how they're from New York."

"Preowned Jaguar for sale. Beloved family member, excellent shape. Wife forced me to put her up for sale after she (the jaguar) ate the kids."

"FYI: hey my wife came home in a terrible mood and I figured I'd read her one of my tweets to cheer her up, turns out that's a bad idea guys"

"Interviewer asked me why I'd make a good waiter? Me: You could say I...bring a lot to the table."

"Why don't we use some Fourier Analysis on our relationship And reduce to a series of periodic functions."

"No Deja vu please...I Don't want to go through that again"