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Joke of the Day

"Anton, do you think I'm a bad mother? My name is Paul."

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"[Paranormal Investigator shows up at Disney World] Ok, show me this so-called ""haunted mansion"""
"What do you call a little kid with no friends? A Sandy Hook survivor."
"Why non-smokers don't take bubble blowing breaks is beyond me"
"How do you stop the Polish army on horseback? You turn off the carousel."
"Did you hear about the Nirvana tribute act? They played some original songs yesterday. One was called 'Smells Like Kurt's Spirit'."
"The barman says, ""We don't serve time travelers in here."" A time traveler walks into a bar."
"Getting marriage advice from a priest is like taking your lawn mower to Burger King to get repaired."
"I asked my mom where she went to get groceries and if she would tell me if anyone died in game of thrones. She said... Jons, no"
"A guy walks into a bar with a gun and shouts ""Which one of you fuckers is reposting jokes on r/jokes?"" A voice from the back called out ""I don't think you have enough bullets m8."""