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Joke of the Day

"Whats the difference between a boy scout and jewish child? The boy scout comes home from camp."

"Scottish Independence"

"I almost confused a laxative and Ibuprofen and that would have changed my plans for the evening significantly"

"You know why I Hate Carpools? Everytime I go through a tunnel my wrist hurts."

"Chris Brown said he's done making music. That's funny. I didn't even know he started."

"[wakes up next to perfectly crocheted sweater with knitting needles in hands] Oh dear god not again"

"We were so high at the movies that I tried find my seatbelt and my friend helped me look for it."

"When I'm feeling athletic, I go to a sports bar"

"Just had a really enlightening yoga session! LOLJK! I'm drinking warm whiskey out of a water bottle designed for hamsters."

"Scientific name for Viagra Mycoxafloppin"