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Joke of the Day
"Did you hear that the Energizer Bunny got arrested? He was charged with assault and battery."
Next Joke
"[Opens a beer at the park] ""Dude. There's kids here."" Oh shit how rude of me. [turns] IF YOU KIDS WANT SOME BEERS THEYRE IN THE COOLER"
"Some military humour: why do I call the ol' downstairs resident APFSDS? Because it's a long-rod kinetic penetrator!"
"I recently thought about stealing from the food shelf... But the steaks were too high."
"My friend Matt really likes bullfighting. Specifically, Mattadores bullfighting"
"What's the difference between a virtual car and a real one? You can't steal a real car a few bits at a time"
"I like to fill my medicine cabinet with marbles before I invite people over."
"Said this at dinner last night. Bit creepy, but laughs were had. ""He may die a virgin but he ain't gonna be buried one."""
"What's better than winning a Silver Medal at the Paralympics? Not being disabled."
"What does the Chinese government call an American with a PhD in physics, math and chemistry? STUPID AMERICAN!"