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Joke of the Day

"What did the deaf, dumb, and blind kid get for Christmas? Cancer."

"It's wisest to pick the side of the person who knows the most shit about you"

"What do you call a German Pregnancy? A kinder surprise"

"What's the top song by the Vietnamese Beatles? Rice Fields Forever."

"Justice Scalia stated that he wants to be cremated after his death Millions of women are meeting now to discuss if that's what is best for his body."

"A boy calls 911 Boy: Hello? I need your help! 911 Operator: What's your emergency? Boy: Two girls are fighting over me! 911 Operator: So what's the problem? Boy: The ugly one is winning."

"When I see your face, there's not a thing I would change .... except the direction I'm walking in."

"The Web's Best 1,419,302,855,011,440 JPEG images (SLIDESHOW)"

"Boss:my office, now! Me:*to myself* dont be about Twitter dont be about Twitter B:we've had a sexual harassment complaint M:Oh thank God!"

"Strictly between you and me and whatever agency these hummingbirds are reporting to, my paranoia is getting worse."