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Joke of the Day

"my next job http://imgur.com/r3DFIHQ"

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"What do you get when you cross the Atlantic with the Titanic? Halfway."
"My version of ""Free hugs"" is a sign hung around my neck that says ""Ewww, get the fuck away from me."""
"Haven't heard from my boyfriend in 3 days. Trying to start a prayer chain. He blocked me after I set up a wedding website so please RT."
"A blonde hears a guy telling blond jokes... She says ""i'm blond, and that's very insulting."" Guy says, ""alright, I'll repeat it slowly."""
"My wife thinks I'm stupid for using Twitter so much. But I think she's stupid for marrying me, so I think we all know who won this argument."
"Sources are saying Geno Smith threw the first punch but it landed a few yards short and was returned for a touchdown."
"What does it mean when you're on a date and he pushes you in front of a bus?"
"TIL: They're making a sequal to Brokeback Mountain... Called Sore Ass Pass."
"What do you call a marathon runner that refuses to stop? A joggernaut."