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Joke of the Day

"What do you call it when a lemon jerks off her own brother until he chafes? Inzest"

"How heavy is the moderation on this sub? And was it in anyway responsible for the death of FPH."

"What's the shortest book ever written? French War Heroes."

"Is there a difference between our farts? Your gas is as good as mine :\"

"What did the vampire say to the teacher? See you next period!"

"How do you tell the difference between a plumber and a chemist? Ask him/her to pronounce unionized Edit: Gets 3000+ upvotes, Karma remains at 20..."

"My alarm clock is clearly jealous of my amazing relationship with my bed."

"90% of your body is water. 6% is delusion. 4% is lies."

"Hear about the serial killer who was actually quite sensitive? He wore other people's hearts on his sleeve."

"I'm going to stand outside, so if anyone asks I am outstanding."