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Joke of the Day

"They say that if you are bad in this life, you re-encarnate into a 'Nickelback' song in the next one."

"Always use a fish knife when eating fish, a tomato knife when eating tomato, and a Swiss Army knife when eating a member of the Swiss army."

"What did the Jew with a boner say when he bumped into a wall? Oowwww...my nose."

"Why do we have oceans? Because based god and acid god had a baby."

"What is the difference between a well dressed man on a bicycle and a poorly dressed man on a unicycle? Attire."

"Q: What do sneezes wear on their feet? A: Ahhh-shoes."

"My first wife died from eating poison mushrooms; my second wife died of a fractured skull... She wouldn't eat her mushrooms."

"I dated my financial advisor for like a year but I lost interest."

"If you thought the last status was good, Check this one out........1"

"How does Frankenstein sit in his chair? Bolt upright."