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Joke of the Day

"They say that if you are bad in this life, you re-encarnate into a 'Nickelback' song in the next one."

"What's the difference between your mom and a pizza? One I eat everyday, and the other is an Italian-based flatbread with tomato sauce"

"If a prostitute is someone that uses sex to obtain money, what do you call someone who uses sex to obtain you? Yo momma"

"What's a pirates favorite letter? What is a pirate's favorite letter?"

"I hate snakes because they have no feet. You could say I'm... lacktoes intolerant *opens another beer*"

"Q: Where can you find an ocean without any water? A: On a map!"

"When I was a kid, my parents gave me a drum set for Christmas. They let me bang them as long as it wasn't after midnight. They always slept better after being banged."

"My grandfather has the heart of a lion... ...and a lifetime ban from the local zoo."

"Be There or Be Square Because if you will be there, you will be around."

"Are you in a fight with another person? Well it really seems like you two are squaring off. At least to tell us the long side of the story according to the Pythagorean Theorem."