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Joke of the Day
"How many cats does it take to make a fur coat? None! Cats can't sew!"
Next Joke
"Why is there cotton on top of the pills inside a pill bottle? To remind black people they picked cotton before they sold drugs."
"My toothpaste says it guarantees whiteness within two weeks.. Yet after two weeks I'm still asian"
"I just got laid ... off."
"When I go shopping with my wife she thinks I'm bored because I'm looking at my phone the whole time. But that's exactly why I'm not bored."
"How many redditors does it take to get a joke? Three. One to get the punchline, and one to point out the math is wrong."
"I lost twenty pounds by making sure that three times a week I get a good hour of doing crystal meth"
"""Welcome to money management. Have you all paid your $200 entrance fee?"" ""Yes"" ""Excellent, never give money to strangers. Class dismissed"""
"How did the hipster burn his tongue? he drank his coffee before it was cool"
"What is Alzheimer's? WHAT IS ALZHEIMER'S DISEASE? * Is it A) Memory Loss? * Is it A) Memory Loss? * Or is it false?"