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Joke of the Day

"I can't pull rabbits out of a hat... But I can pull hares out of my ass!"

"A penis lives a sad life.. His hair is a mess, his family is nuts, neighbor is an asshole, best friend is a pussy and owner beats him."

"How does Gandalf know he's pregnant? A wizard is never late."

"Why did the girl fall out of the swing? Because she didn't have arms."

"Procrastination is like masturbation: it is fun and feels good but in the end you've only fucked yourself."

"Is siri better than you? that's a siri-ous question."

"I saw a magician driving through my neighborhood, and then he turned into a driveway."

"The barista can't deal with the man's 'Don't talk to me until I've had my coffee' shirt. Her mouth opens, then closes. The line grows."

"Next Battlefield map set in Nepal. It's made using groundbreaking technology."

"I recently met an indian baker who claimed to be socially rebellious He called himself a Naan-Conformist."