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Joke of the Day

"I beat my girlfriend at dominos the other night. She needs to learn that *I* choose the pizza toppings."

"Mahogany was competing with oak and maple in the wood election. Nobody got a majority in the electric collage. However, oak narrowly beat out maple in the poplar vote."

"What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter what you call him, he's not coming."

"How can you tell if a black woman is pregnant? When she pulls the tampon out the cotton is already picked."

"drugs lead to nowhere....but at least its the scenic route"

"Case against Congress A guy walks into his agent's office and says, ""Got a great movie idea. Guy hates Congress wants to bring them down."" Agent looks up and says, ""We'll never get the backing!"""

"How do u kill a blonde paraplegic with one arm hanging from a tree? Wave"

"A man walks into a zoo only to find out the only animal in the entire zoo is a dog. It's a shitzu."

"What's a Pirate's favorite letter? Ye would think it be Arrr(R) but its the Sea(C)!"

"My wife complained the other day, ""Why did God give women periods with cramp pains and men nothing?"" I laughed and said, ""Don't be silly honey, he gave us women."""