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Joke of the Day

"Is Google a Boy or a Girl? A girl, because it tries to complete your sentences for you, and it *never ever* forgets what you said."

"What's the definition of relative humidity? The sweat that accumulates under your balls when you're fucking you're sister."

"What's the difference between a terrorist training camp and an orphanage? Terrorists blow them selves up at camp on accident"

"A dad and his son are getting competitive while playing Smash Bros. The dad says: ""I fucked your mom!"" To which the son replies instantly: ""Yeah, well I've been deeper inside her than you'll ever be!"""

"I have a friend who says he's a pothead but only takes one hit and then he's stoned. He's not a pothead, he's a mari-wanna be."

"I asked my wife what to wear to this black tie event. She said ""When in Rome"". So, I'm going as a naked, terrified Christian. With a tie."

"What do you call it when a toaster eats a toaster Cannatoasterlism"

"My wife said she'll leave me if I don't overcome my poker addiction but I think she's bluffing"

"Bird Strike Pilots in a cockpit of A380: -Damn! Birdstrike!! -NO!! It was a Fokker 50!!"

"How to you make an octopus laugh? ...you give it ten tickles"