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Joke of the Day

"They say people and their pets start to look alike, which is why George Clooney is now tied to a tree in my backyard."

"I just saw a guy running a race and masturbating at the same time. I wonder what place he'll come in."

"I asked a music teacher what is sooo hard about playing a violin... she said it's kinda fiddely."

"With all the awful things happening in Nepal... you just have to wonder...what would Kathmandu?"

"I wish my lawn was emo Then it would cut itself."

"New evidence shows #marijuana not only helps with cancer side effects but may fight cancer itself! Oh pot, is there anything u can't do?"

"My friend told me that recycling is good for the environment Not on Reddit, apparently. I got downvoted a lot..."

"Holocaust jokes are not funny Anne Frankly sick of them."

"I accidentally swallowed a piece of string the other day. When it finally came out the back end, it was all tied up. I shit you knot"

"u ever watch a spider build a web and ur like damn and i cant even build a desk from IKEA"