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Joke of the Day

"You think YOUR economy is bad? Around here the hookers are giving free blowjobs just to get something hot on their bellys!"

"me: [raises hand] my date: again, that's not necessary"

"A man walks into a psychiatrist's office wearing nothing but Saran Wrap. The psychiatrist says, ""Well I can clearly see you're nuts."""

"Life is like a penis. Simple, relaxed and hanging freely. It's the woman that make it hard."

"I'm going to get some hate here. Is methodist a religion that worships meth?"

"I remember, before kids, saying funny things like, ""my kids won't be watching TV and they most certainly won't be eating chicken nuggets!"""

"Why can't you fool an aborted fetus? Because it wasn't born yesterday. ..."

"How did the dog's owner know his pet was angry about having soap flakes for breakfast? He foamed at the mouth."

"Donald Trump is going to be president in 4 days. That..that's it..."

"What do you call it when a jewish submarine operator is discriminated against for being gay? Subjugation."