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Joke of the Day

"You think YOUR economy is bad? Around here the hookers are giving free blowjobs just to get something hot on their bellys!"

"I just sent a text that says ""we really need to talk"" to everyone I know so nobody will bother me today."

"what did the tampon say to the other tampon as they passed each other in the street? NSFW nothing. they were both stuck up cunts!"

"Obi-wan: *holding baby* Let's make her a famous princess Droid: What about the other baby? Obi-wan:*shrugs* Dump him in a desert somewhere"

"How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb? You wouldn't know, it's kind of an obscure number. Edit: I get it, this joke is just too far-fetched for you mainstreamers to understand."

"Why... Can't illegal US immigrants play Uno? Because they keep stealing all the Green Cards"

"A wife texts her husband ""Windows frozen"" ""Pour some hot water over it"" he replies. ""Computer completely fucked now"""

"How do you catch a politician? With a special interest group, or evidence of a sex scandal."

"Where do butt-pirates have sex? The poop deck."

"My little brother dropped this on me; What do Mexicans say when they're cold? BRRRRRRRRiba!"