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Joke of the Day

"My dad happens to be an umpire at a restaurant. So whenever somebody order pancakes, he immediately screams ""Batter up!"""

"Little Billy come out to his Dad... - Dad, I think I'm gay. - That's strange, when you were young, you did not seem to like anal sex."

"Why must rabbits never miss dinner? With out their tea they'd be Rabbis."

"A guy cat calls a girl ""Hey, what's up girl?"" ""My eyes."""

"'Twas the night before Thanksgiving, and I'm out of breath I've been in the kitchen all day, cooking up meth."

"A cup of coffee just walked up to my girlfriend and called her a 'whore'. I didn't even react. I think my caffeine tolerance is too high"

"The cashier at the grocery store just gave me an ""I'm cooler than you"" look. Dude I will fight you with this baby strapped to me"

"Do you know the difference between a birthday cake and giving a blowjob? No? Well, happy birthday!"

"What do you have when you have two small, green balls in your hand? Kermit's undivided"

"What type of government rules the butterflies? A monarchy"