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Joke of the Day

"I read the Constitution... ...but only for the articles."

"[Guy on the Death Star who's really sick of hearing Vader's breathing but is too scared to say anything]: I'm going to put on some music"

"My high must be wearing off, because that cop car that pulled me over 20 minutes ago is starting to look like a house with Christmas lights."

"I bet all those girls that ignored me in high school would still be pretty pleased with that decision"

"Why are lesbians bad cooks? because they always eat out..."

"Coming this Christmas, an ageing misogynist and his quest to correct all women in his path. Hugh Grant stars in ""Actually, Love""."

"What's the difference between an African kid and an orange? Approximately 3 grams."

"Why cant Ray Charles see his friends? Because he's ~~Blind~~ Married"

"Today i was woken up with a blowjob.. i will never fall asleep with my mouth open anymore."

"Why did the barber win the race? He knew a short cut."