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Joke of the Day

"Please don't bore your friends with your troubles and worries. Tell your enemies instead, who will be delighted to hear about them."

"[at my house after 1st date] me: so, do you wanna have some sex? her: well, I don't normally do this...but I think I'll pass"

"I want to marry the smell of gasoline and have little gasoline smelling kids with it and spend the rest of my days smelling my family."

"Chosing a share to buy is like chosing a porn video to watch. You search for hours and find something interesting and at the end it will dissapoint you."

"My friend got sent to prison for pulling out 3 people from a burning building Unfortunately, it turned out they were firefighters"

"I had a one-night-stand with a Bernie supporter. I know because I can feel the bern."

"I was told you have to wait an hour after you finish eating to swim. I didn't know there was such a thing as an hour after you finish eating"

"Why did the feminist refuse a back rub? Too massagynistic"

"What are bananas high in? Trees!"

"Wanna hear a joke about the OP that actually delivered?"