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Joke of the Day

"I love Halloween It's the only time of the year I'm not questioned for giving out sweets to small children."

"Dad is obsessive compulsive about his vinyl and owns every single Beatles record except for one.. I think he needs Help."

"If you smoke weed and masturbate... ... is it called weed whacking?"

"Urban Outfitters: the most expensive way to look poor."

"Why was Oedipus against profanity? because he kisses his mother with that mouth."

"My city was so poor growing up that Planned Parenthood was just a bicycle without a seat."

"Having a tea party is fun until your daughter tells you that she got the water from the toilet"

"why don't chickens wear pants? Because their pecker is on their heads!"

"Dumb number jokes: What did the 0 say to the 8? Nice belt."

"Do you have home insurance? 'Cause I'm going to smash your back door in."