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Joke of the Day

"Urban Outfitters: the most expensive way to look poor."

"Old age homes suck people are dying to get out of there."

"A poet and a logician were found dead earlier this week. They say the killer had no rhyme or reason."

"Can I buy you a drink? ""I don't drink."" *panics* Oh. Um...well, here's $12."

"What's the difference between the Leafs and a Pornstar? They both get fucked. They both get paid. But only one of them really enjoys it."

"If I could have dinner with anyone dead or alive, I would choose alive."

"What do an anorexic girl and the UK have in common? They both lose pounds really fast."

"What did the dog say to the old tree? #Bark"

"If you shout ""I am a STRONG BLACK woman"" in front of the mirror enough times then security comes and drags you out of the Gap changing room."

"""It's a bird!"" [Superman zooms down to inches away from the screaming guy's face] S: Birds can't go that fast Sean. What are you an idiot"