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Joke of the Day

"Why do female zombies have such a terrible sex life? Because whenever they shout, ""I want you inside me."" all of the guys run away."

"""I'm not here to make 'Friends'!"" --Matthew Perry on some reality show in 2016 so get ready to laugh!"

"[LPT] When cleaning a messy room start with your bed, you will have a better sense of accomplishment when you eventually give up and sob uncontrollably."

"Chalant isn't even a word. Well played nonchalant. Well played."

"If I'm ever on Jeopardy I hope the final category isn't ""Can You Tell These Mumford & Sons Songs Apart."""

"Dark humor is kind of like food.. .. Not everyone gets it."

"I married a beautiful woman - a smart one too. Hopefully they'll never meet."

"Why is Santa's Sack So Big Because he only comes once a year."

"Go ahead and cremate your grandma, you've urned it."

"What do you call a person who's happy on a Monday? Unemployed."