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Joke of the Day

"I wonder if Ronald McDonald sadistically cackles as he bludgeons innocent chickens and uses clown magic to turn them into nuggets."

"Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle? For the 23rd flavor."

"I follow ripped guys around the grocery store and just buy what they buy"

"How difficult is it to live with erectile dysfunction? It turns out, it's not very hard at all"

"What kinds of birds are raised by only their mothers? Blackbirds"

"I just went to the Air & Space museum. Boy do I feel ripped off. It was just an empty room."

"Caitlyn Jenner comes with a warning label... It says: Warning - May contain traces of nuts."

"What did the coffee shop owner's wife say when she discovered he wasn't using Free Trade beans? ""That's grounds for divorce!"""

"A doctor and his patient **Doctor**: After the operation, you'll be a new man. **Patient**: Could you send the bill to the old man?"

"*mugger pulls a knife* Mugger: gimme your money Me: well this night took a SHARP turn *later* Doctor: it's a record for amount of stabs"