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Joke of the Day

"I could die But I'm afraid of the reapercussions"

"What's the scariest thing to wake up to in the morning? Another day."

"When is April 2nd and she is still pregnant! D:"

"I just watched Meet the Parents again And if I was Gay I would have been outta there"

"I saw an infant in the intensive care unit at the hospital... ... quietly playing with a toy donkey. I couldn't help but think: ""ICU baby, shakin' that ass"""

"What do you get if you cross a centipede and a chicken ? Enough drumsticks to feed an army !"

"""What are you reading?"" Great Expectations. ""Is it any good?"" It's not all I hoped for."

"What did Sloth say when he found gold? AU GUYS!!!"

"Cop: Do you know why I pulled you over? Me: Because no body liked you in high school, and then you caught me speeding."

"First came up with this joke when I was 5 and it's still the funniest thing I've ever said. Q. What do you call a line of Barbies? A. A Barbecue!"