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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a carpet cleaning company based out of Ohio? Cleveland Steamers"

"Can electrocution get someone jail time? I'm not sure, but they'd definitely be charged"

"dentist was flossing my teeth & said ""they're very tight"" & I said ""yeah they're homies"" & he laughed so loud that it made me uncomfortable"

"[CAVE] BABY DRAGON: Dad, I hate trolls! They are disgusting, evil creatures! DAD DRAGON: Just push them aside and eat your vegetables son."

"""I'll have to report you sir"" said the traffic cop to the speeding driver. ""You were doing 85 miles an hour."" ""Nonsense officer"" declared the driver. ""I've only been in the car for ten minutes."""

"LPT: If you crash into a parked car and don't have a paper and pen.. simply use a key to scratch your insurance details on to the bonnet."

"What do you call a man with just a nose? No body nose man. Hue, hue, hue."

"What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute? The prostitute stops screwing the client when they die. Source: eavesdropping on the legal counsel at work."

"Maybe don't show me a picture if you don't want me to rate your baby."

"Right about now, family members all over the country are realizing the Starbucks cards I gave them for Christmas are empty."