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Joke of the Day

"Cops: COME OUT WITH YOUR HANDS WHERE WE CAN SEE THEM Invisible Hands Adam: shit"

"*somehow manages to beep at you sarcastically*"

"Was gonna go to the gym but then I checked Twitter. In 2009"

"Two Problems with North Carolina: Too many racists, and too many GODDAMN ASIANS."

"School Joke Principal: ""I've had complaints about you, Johnny, from all of your teachers. What have you been doing?"" Johnny: ""Nothing, sir."" Principal: ""Exactly!"""

"What do you call a constipated Benedict Cumberbatch? No Shit Sherlock"

"A man's bread shop burnt down Now his business is toast."

"Dumb number jokes: What did the 0 say to the 8? Nice belt."

"Why don't you want to take a Pokemon into the bathroom? Because it might Pikachu."

"What hurts? When a man with a boner runs against a wall. And what is embarrassing? When his nose touches the wall first."