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Joke of the Day

"Pedophiles lobby for slower speed limits at school zones"

"I had an idea for a movie plot where a retired CIA agent searches for his kidnapped daughter in Paris... But it turns out that idea was already taken"

"BREAKING NEWS: New iPad Will Do Same Sh*t other iPads Already Do!"

"What gets easier to pick up the heavier it gets? A woman"

"We're learning more about the sale of the L.A. Clippers. Insiders say it came down to a bidding war between Steve Ballmer and Oprah. I'll let you guess who Donald Sterling rooted for."

"Jeff, a semicolon, and an Oxford comma go to a bar. They both had a great time."

"I just went to an emotional wedding. even the cake was in tiers."

"Zelda: Why aren't you mowing the lawn? Link: It's raining Z: No it's not L: *Plays Song of Storms* Z: You're sleeping with Epona tonight"

"Half-Life 3 is getting made."

"Why do people walk by and say ""Hi, how are you?"" but they don't stop long enough for you to reply!"