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Joke of the Day
"The people I work with are a bunch of potatoes They're definitely tator-taught."
Next Joke
"I would love to know what it's like to be handsome for one day... ... because everyday is just too much."
"My other calendar is a packet of birth control pills."
"I said ""Candyman"" 5 times into the bathroom mirror and sure enough some woman came out of the stall and screamed at me for being in there."
"I bet kangaroos get drunk and find some ridiculous shit in their pouches in the morning."
"Shouldn't there have been ONE scene in The Karate Kid where Daniel's mom was like ""Why are you constantly in that old man's shed?"""
"Why did Blitzkrieg work so well in France? Because lightning always follows the path of least resistance"
"Knock knock. Who's there? John. John who? John proceeds to break into tears as his mother's alzheimers has progressed to the point where she doesn't even remember him."
"The best way to tell if a movie character is depressed is if there are a bunch of open chinese food containers sitting around"
"If we just refer to ISIS as ""Nickelback"" maybe nobody will want to join them"