53177

Joke of the Day

"Clean tweeting is liberating. You don't need profanity to make a point. Look: Tell her she has beautiful eyes. Female dogs love that poopy."

"My gynecologist didn't think my ventriloquism skills were as charming as I did."

"It says right on the redbull can: do not mix with alcohol. What do we do? We make jager bombs. We are not a species made to last."

"What's a white supremacist's favorite cereal? Special KKK."

"An Asian goes to the optometrist... The optometrist says, after a moment or two: ""I see what the problem is...you have a cataract."" The Asian immediately replies: ""no no, it's a Rincon Continental."""

"Just the other day, I asked my mom at what age do children start really listening to their parents but I don't remember what her answer was."

"A trucker walks into a bar ...drinks a glass of poison and dies immediately."

"Q: Why do blondes have orgasms? A: So they know when to stop having sex."

"What did the kangaroo say when her baby was missing? Help! My pocket's been picked!"

"I'm trying to envision something more fitting than this election actually ending in a Biden-Trump fist fight and i cannot"