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Joke of the Day

"A grasshopper walks into a bar . . . A grasshopper walks into a bar. Bartender: Ya know, we have a drink named after you! Grasshopper: You have a drink named Steve?"

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"If two pharaohs farted at the same time They would have a toot in common"
"me: ""4,000 for a beehive?"" salesman: ""sir, there are 8,000 bees in there, that's only 50p each"" me: [checking my wallet] ""give me 3 bees"""
"A pirate walks into a bar... ...With a steering wheel in his pants. The bartender says, ""Is that a steering wheel in your pants?"" The pirate says ""Arrr, it's drivin' me nuts!"""
"I felt sorry for the hypnotist I saw last night He hypnotised 7 blokes then dropped the microphone on his foot and said 'fuck me!' What happened next will haunt me for the rest of my life"
"What did the fish say when it ran into a wall? Dam"
"Waiter waiter! There's a spider in my soup. Send for the manager! It's no good sir he's frightened of them too."
"What has two arms,two legs and eats ants? Uncles"
"Movie theater employees have 2 ages: 17 104"
"What does a Chinese gay man have for dinner? Goo of Sum Yung Gai"
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