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Joke of the Day

"What are Mario's overalls made of? **DENIM DENIM DENIM.**"

"Cop: So, I'm writing a ticket for driving alone in the car pool lane. Me: You're going to feel really stupid when you look in my trunk."

"I thought Bill Gates would cave and release the new Microsoft Office early. But he kept his Word."

"If you believe you can pass a drug test by drinking large amounts of water, you're just diluting yourself."

"What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist fuck!"

"How did the mathematician get rid of his constipation? He worked it out with a pencil."

"I'm as conflicted as a strip club addict with a glitter allergy."

"Where do the bacteria gangsters hang out? On the Yeast Side."

"I don't envy mama birds for how they have to feed their babies, but the pushing them out of the nest part sounds fun."

"What did the alcoholic Dad, away on business, say to the bartender at the hotel bar? I'm ready to partiem with my perdiem *sorry, not a dad, and the bar tender didn't laugh either"