52802

Joke of the Day

"How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two. But, I still can't figure out how they got in there."

"Call me nostalgic, but I often think back to when I was just a boy... Before my botched gender reassignment surgery. Things were simpler, then."

"how to get into shape: 1. punch a bear 2. run. this is your life now"

"29 months? Yeah, no, I meant how old is your kid in HOURS."

"Why can't Jesus roller skate? Because he's naild to a cross."

"A guy walks into a Kinkos and asks, ""Do you have any colored printers?"" To which the clerk responds, ""It's 2016 man. You can use any printer you want."""

"A skeleton walks into a bar... And tells the bartender, ""I'll have a beer, and a mop."""

"What's easier to pick up the heavier it gets? Woman"

"When I was growing up, we were so poor that... Soap-on-a-rope was considered to be jewelry in our house."

"So, I asked my grandfather why he doesn't have a life insurance His answer? ""Because I want you to be truly sad when I'm gone"" :("