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Joke of the Day

"My kid brother used to have a lazy eye and had to wear an eye patch. My whole body is lazy so I'm wearing my couch."

"Why didn't the lifeguard save the drowning Hippy? Because he was too far out, man."

"Why are you even asking me that mom. I love jumping off bridges, either by myself or as a group, you know that."

"What did the fry cook do when he found out he was cooking burger patties made of feces? He flipped a shit."

"What is another word for Pokemon? A Rastafarian Proctologist"

"I always take my dates straight to the movies after dinner. That way she doesn't have the chance to ask me why I eat soup with my hands."

"What's the difference between lust, love, and just plain showing off? Spitting, Swallowing, and gargling."

"Sometimes you just have to roll down your car window and bark at people to see what they do."

"What is a Canadian's favourite letter? Eh?"

"I bought a new dog yesterday. I've named him Rolex.......he's a watchdog"