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Joke of the Day

"What is a Canadian's favourite letter? Eh?"

"If anyone needs me, I'll be over at facebook, actin' creepy."

"I've been drinking and trying to think of a great tweet for a few hours now and here it is: FARTS"

"Why are commercial flights always cheaper for vultures? All their luggage is carrion."

"Discovered that my wife can talk to me THROUGH THE SPEAKERS OF MY NEW CAR so I'm returning it."

"Cop: Do you know why I pulled you over? Me: To propagate authoritarianism and generate revenue for the state? Cop: Besides that."

"What's a rabbits' favourite car? Any make just as long it's a hutchback!"

"[shoves the new kid] ur in the wrong ballet class loser, this is for the experts only [low-5s closest bro while maintaining eye contact]"

"I organized a threesome last night There were a couple of no-shows but I still had a good time."

"I would really appreciate it if everyone great would stop dying"