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Joke of the Day

"I asked an Indian if he likes custard He said, ""not in general."""

"Despite what everyone says, I don't think your mom is a ""dirty pirate whore"". She's actually quite clean for a pirate whore."

"What do you call someone who gets stoned and baked? A witch."

"Why didn't Edward leave his house? Because he was Snowden."

"REAL math joke At a party vectors V and W see vector V+W poking in his head and asking: ""Can I join?"". ""Yeah."", V and W reply; ""It's a closed party..."""

"Would the man who lost his hearing aid PLEASE come and retrieve it at the lost and found"

"Did you guys hear what happened to Helen Keller? Neither did she."

"[LPT] When cleaning a messy room start with your bed, you will have a better sense of accomplishment when you eventually give up and sob uncontrollably."

"I Remember The Guy Who Made Me Smile For The Rest Of My Life He's the reason why I don't do plastic surgery anymore."

"I just went to poop without my phone & had to entertain myself with a magazine like a god damned caveman."