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Joke of the Day

"What do you call an Irish lesbian? Good with the Gaelic."

"Where would Martin Luther King Jr. be right now if he was white? Alive"

"Teacher: Fill out the parent form. Me: Why? Teacher: So I can contact you if your kid gets in trouble. Me: *writing* Raised. By. Wolves."

"Whats the difference between a shower and a toilet? Showers take in lost of dirty people, but don't take shit from no one."

"I want my hearse to have 'JUST DIED' written on the windshield with cans tied to the rear bumper."

"I've discovered a magical land through the back of the wardrobe, it's inhabitants are similar to my neighbours, albeit a lot more hostile."

"Teacher draws a penis on the blackboard. ""Does any one know what that is?"" ""Yes,"" says Tommy. ""My dad has two, a small one for weeing and a big one for cleaning the babysitters teeth."""

"I got head from a blind woman She didn't see it coming!"

"People say I'm a people person It's like a dog person, but with a lot more chains in my basement."

"Atoms are the biggest liars in the universe... They make up everything."