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Joke of the Day

"I always cry at weddings (they're wasting so much rice!!)"

"Every morning you have two choices: be productive and really shine, OR pour some coffee, log in and start posting. Hello, darlings."

"How do you reuse a condom? You turn it inside out and shake the fuck out of it."

"I don't like you messing with my donkey call-center business. I'm the one with my ass on the line."

"Anyone hear the one.. Anyone hear the one about the messy bed? Yeah, I made it up."

"If Donald Trump became president... one could say he coined a term."

"Why can't a blonde dial 911? She can't find the eleven."

"Maybe she's born with zits, maybe it's methamphetamine"

"Do you know how to tell your ass from a hole in the ground? Stick your finger in and try to walk away."

"What's the difference between a blonde and a refrigerator? A refrigerator doesn't fart when you pull your meat out of it."