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Joke of the Day

"I said to my wife, 'Hey, I really love these new furry condoms.'' 'Bob, that's a cat.'"

"What are the Rolling Stones better at than the Bee gees? Stayin' Alive"

"What do you call a crazy bug that lives in space? A lunar-tick"

"The baby's trying to eat the poinsettia again Well, maybe we should get rid of it The plant? But we just got it . . .Haha yeah, the plant"

"What would albert einstein's name be if he was blonde? Nobody would know"

"Uhm, excuse me waiter... I'd like to return my food. It only received 5 likes on Instagram."

"Five out of six people are okay with Russian Roulette... ... The sixth one loves it to death."

"I told her love was all about sacrifice, but she still screamed when she saw the dead goat."

"I was walking along the pavement and there was this sign that said, ""Pavement ahead closed. Please use other side."" It made me cross."

"*crawls into bed naked* *grabs a book* *sips wine* This is nice. I wonder whose house this is."