51816
Joke of the Day
"'Hardys, Bitter, Fosters, Strongbow' Daft Punk ordering a round at the bar"
Next Joke
"Someone with OCD visited my TL whilst I was napping and now all my tweets seem to be facing the same way."
"My kids aren't going to believe in Santa. They're going to believe in a magical Unicorn that barfs the presents under the tree."
"Weight discrimination and fat-shaming are a real problem in our society. Do you know what the worst source of fat-shaming is? A mirror."
"How many Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? Juan"
"Son asks ""Dad, do you die if you lose your head?"" Dad responds ""That is a no-brainer"""
"Where does Napoleon keep his armies? In his sleevies"
"*I look into abyss* *Abyss looks at me* *Abyss blinking message in Morse code* *I go off to learn Morse* *I return* ""Why do we park in a dri"
"Quit college. Become an oven. Get up to like 500 degrees."
"How do you make a dead baby float? 1 cup of milk 2 scoops of dead baby."