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Joke of the Day

"Well doctor, my problem is basically this: when it snows, my eyes become large and the light that you shine can be seen."

"Since they won't vote anyway, Obama should make the GOP look bad by nominating a bald eagle holding a picture of Jesus to the Supreme Court."

"I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog. "

"Why do gay clubs float so well? They're flambuoyant."

"I think my girlfriend is breaking up with me for playing too much videogames.. She says its ""just cause"" but either way I think its a pretty silly thing to fallout 4.."

"My corn tortillas want me to like them on Facebook. Fuck the future."

"If you drop this book in a pig pen what should you do? Take the words out of their mouths."

"How can you tell who the head doctor is? They're the one with the dirtiest knees"

"Why did the hipster burn his mouth when he was eating a slice of pizza? He ate it before it was cool"

"Why did the boy become an astronaut? Because he was told he was no earthly good."