51465

Joke of the Day

"I shot my first turkey today! But for some reason everyone in the frozen food section acted really surprised."

"What is better than a rose on a guitarist? Tulips on my pianist."

"I became a proud dad today, my boy is actually 4 but he was a little prick for the first 3 years."

"Saw a ""Don't Text and Drive"" sign on my way into work today. Good thing I took a second to look up from my phone, otherwise I may have missed it."

"Hi, you've reached my voicemail. Why are you doing this?"

"What is a blonde's favorite color? Glitter."

"When you're dead, you have no idea you're dead. It's only difficult for other people..... Much the same as when you're stupid....."

"If you ever see on a road where a section of the dotted line is missing - There is no law there."

"One-One was a race horse, Two-Two was one too One-One won one race and Two-Two's leg was broken and he had to get euthanized."

"Finally, GOOGLE will be firmly AHEAD of APPLE... ...ALPHABETICALLY :)"