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Joke of the Day
"Why is diarrhea hereditary? It runs in your genes."
Next Joke
"[making out] ME: *grabs a blindfold from the nightstand* GIRLFRIEND: omg really? ME: *blindfolding the dog at the end of the bed* really."
"What did Octavian say when he stormed Cleopatra's gardens? Caesar salad"
"So I was at the bar the other night exchanging pleasantries with an attractive woman. She said she would like to read my palm... Okay! She takes my hand and asks... ""Do you come here often?"""
"What's the best way to see yesterday's front page ? 9GAG"
"What starts with ""F"" and ends with ""UCK""? ""Firetruck"" ...What were you thinking? What starts with ""P"" and ends with ""ORN""? ""Popcorn"" ..What were you thinking?"
"I think the most pressing question for the Pope should be, ""so like, after 7pm in the Vatican, what do you do? Just, like, sit in there?"""
"3: *throws plate in sink Me: but you barely ate! 3: yeah, I'm full...what are you eating? Me: the same thing you had 3: can I have a bite?"
"I love these hot summer nights when you can open all the windows and fall asleep naked. I'm not sure my taxi driver appreciates it though."
"What does an excited Japanese horse say? Oshio des neighhhhh"