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Joke of the Day

"Q: What kind of flower grows on your face? A: Tulips."

"Whats green, three inches long and smells like bacon? Kermit the frogs middle finger."

"Apparently Mr. Neeson's ""particular set of skills"" is terrible at keeping his family from getting kidnapped."

"Recently reconciled with my brother after a long conflict. I apologised for slashing his tires, and he regretted breaking some of my home appliances. But hey, it's all water under the fridge now."

"He was like, 'We're all slowly dying' So I was like, 'WRONG' and I threw him in front of a moving bus."

"A man walks into a bar. Smack."

"Did you hear about the cannibal who switched to Spam? He said it's the greatest thing since sliced Fred"

"What did the old man get for his birthday? Cancer."

"Probably the third-best reason to have kids is if you think it's funny when other people trip."

"I don't understand the big hubbub about missing divers. They're probably just underwater."