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Joke of the Day

"Recently reconciled with my brother after a long conflict. I apologised for slashing his tires, and he regretted breaking some of my home appliances. But hey, it's all water under the fridge now."

"What do soybeans call their mother? Edamame."

"What's the difference between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my dick into your mouth."

"[God creating the frog] ""How about a really stupid-looking kangaroo fish?"""

"Engineers are sexual intellectuals or in other words... Fucking know-it-alls"

"Isn't it just a little ironic to see a group of pro-lifers throwing eggs at an abortion clinic?"

"Wives are also like hurricanes... When they come they're wet and wild, when they leave they take your house and your car."

"my favorite perfume is really expensive so I keep buying the same issue of Vogue and rubbing the sample on me"

"if a blonde and a Asian girl would jump off a bridge who would land first? The Asian girl because the blonde would stop and ask for directions."

"Military shouldn't hire people named Will."