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Joke of the Day

"What has two thumbs and doesn't understand jokes that require a visual component? This guy!"

"What's the difference between Sesame Street and Leonardo DiCaprio? Sesame Street has an Oscar."

"Star Wars is just like regular wars except you fall in love with your sister and your dad chops your arm off."

"My favorite clean joke Why did the scarecrow get a promotion? He was outstanding in his field!!!!!"

"I've been ""watching my weight"" and, rest assured, it's still there."

"Asked my friend what's he's going to wear for Halloween... ""Probably a condom."""

"How is cunnilingus like riding a bike with an open face helmet? It's a lot of fun as long as you don't end up with bugs in your teeth."

"what would Netflix even do if i sent them back a DVD of me doing karate they'd have no choice but to add it to their collection i suppose"

"""Oh, you're left handed?"" - people who see me writing with my left hand, curious if I'm just doing it for show"

"Bridge is like sex If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand."