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Joke of the Day
"What has two thumbs and doesn't understand jokes that require a visual component? This guy!"
Next Joke
"Jubilee is a mutant who can shoot sparks from her hands, and spontaneously destroy electronics by touching them... So she's basically like my mom, if my mom could shoot sparks from her hands."
"A bar walks into a bar Haha I have no idea where I was going with this please don't be mean I thought it was going to be funny."
"Me: My wife got me a telescope for Christmas. Neighbor: Nice. I got- Me: I know. I watched you guys open everything."
"What does one star say to another star when they meet? Glad to meteor!"
"Why is Stephen Hawking going to hell? Because it's a stairway to heaven, not a ramp."
"What do you call a cowboy with a case of bad gas? Darn tootin'! (this is so dumb im sorry)"
"i'd tell a joke about food but... It'll be of bad taste"
"To the people who have birthdays this week... your parents sure know how to celebrate Valentine's Day!"
"*CRASH* *THUMP* *SCREAM* *Husband runs into bedroom* H: OHMYGOD ARE YOU OKAY? Me: Yeah. Just taking off my sports bra."